After roughly a hundred viewings of my son's favorite Wiggles dvd, I am madly in love with the one in the bright blue shirt. Anthony Field. He reminds me of my husband. He's crazy and cute, bursting with enthusiasm for the most mundane tasks. I also admire Anthony's Australian accent and the way he winks at the camera while dancing.
In other news: just received a rejection for a query I sent out regarding Nova's Gone Potty. Nova's Gone Potty has been radically revised and polished to a brilliant gleam. If you missed Nova's Gone Potty the first time around when it was available at lulu.com, do not despair. The new improved Nova's Gone Potty will hit Barnes & Noble and Borders well before the apocalypse. I believe in Nova and her talking potty and her sidekick Perry and her love interest John and her trick Simon and her crazy friend Sage and her much too sane friends Coral and Miranda. Fifty is the magic number. If NGP is rejected by forty-nine more agents, at that point I will publish it at lulu.com, buy an ISBN and promote all hell outta my little literary gem my goddamn self. I just wrote down a kick ass Henry Miller quote from Nexus but I don't have it memorized yet. It's tacked to the bulletin board at home.
How many chick lit books and apologetic books on promiscuity/drugs/cutting does America need? Do we really need more vampire books? More rich white teenagers with daddy's credit card books? More books on singing caffeine addled retarded bisexual cowboys who fancy themselves 21st century Ed Abbeys? Nay! Nay, I say!
I'm now writing the story of my life. Strong Blood. In the vein of Henry Miller and Charles Bukowski, it is not an autobiography and it is not a memoir. It is literary fiction...my blood and guts and throbbing clitoris and ebullient vomit with names changed to protect the guilty and the freedom to invent what needs to be invented for the purpose of oh gee whiz that's fascinatin', ma.
I also endeavor to write a collection of short stories. Yesterday an idea zinged into my pretty little head...what if a "mentally challenged" (hell, aren't we all?) person won an inheritance or the lottery? How would those millions be spent?
Speakin' strictly for myself...if I won an inheritance (couldn't win the lottery, don't play it...bad Texan!!!) I would spend it on a used but reliable emerald green pick-up truck, artwork for my left upper arm, a musical potty chair for my son, clothes for my son, myself and my husband, a pair of Dia de los Muertos cowboy boots for myself, an adobe casa in Albuquerque, an art gallery in Madrid (New Mexico, not Spain), a lifetime supply of Chef Boyardee pizza, a trip to Vegas, a trip to NYC, a trip to San Francisco, a trip to Rio, a trip to Fiji, a trip to Dublin, a trip to Rome, a new car for my mom, a house for my mother-in-law and a big aquarium filled with dragon fish.
Gotta Google Comanche surnames now. Buh bye.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
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9 comments:
If David Halberstam were to rewrite THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST, then he would definitely include you, Miss Misti, although I think he might be dead unfortunately and that book was actually about the Vietnam War but you know what I mean, I think.
OK. Let's put it this way: If JFK were to rewrite PROFILES IN COURAGE he would definitely also include you in spite of some ill-will he might feel towards the state of Texas, understandably, and they would give him an even bigger Pulitzer Prize for it this time, a real whopper, one that was shiny and cool looking, like an Oscar in a Speedo and real gold, if he were of course still alive and had the good fortune to meet you and then do what I just said he would do.
I need to buy your books. I just spent my last five bucks on donuts. But when I have money again I want to buy at least one of your books. You've got a wiggly mind.
I like that "mentally challenged" idea. I've often flirted with writing a short story called, "What if I Were Handicapped". You know, things I would do if I were in a wheelchair. Like throwing my colostomy bag at teenagers in the mall or senior citizens at the local buffet. I enjoy your writings.
cheers
John Bean
thanks, john. i would create all kinds of hell if i were in a wheelchair. i would be like larry flynt. but without the money.
rather: if i were in a wheelchair, i would be HELL ON WHEELS!!!
It may be a bit sadistic to think about being in a wheelchair, but I just can't help it. Oh, the fun I would have. You really could get away with anything. I mean, who fucks with a person in a wheelchair?
I think other people in wheelchairs do. ESPECIALLY blind people in wheelchairs.
Have you seen how much The Wiggles tickets cost though? It's a little too high for a kids show. Don't you agree?
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